Prometheus

Oh boy, oh boy.  What the hell has happened to Ridley Scott?  Prometheus was supposed to be his triumphant return to science fiction film (he directed Alien and Bladerunner for those of you who don't know).  Instead, we get this utter mess of a film, full of plot holes, lackluster writing, and predictable sequences we've seen dozens of times.  I'm so frustrated right now!

Let me get the good out of the way, because there isn't that much to gush about with this film.  What was done extremely well was the visuals.  You can't deny that the screenshots from Prometheus are beautiful.  Scott at least has not lost his esthetic touch.  Perhaps he ought to do sci fi art, and leave sci fi films to other people from now on.  The other great thing about the movie are the actors.  Some amazing people were cast in this film.  Too bad they all go to waste.

Okay, that's it for the positive.  Now to all the crap that was wrong.  I won't go too in depth with spoilers, because I don't want to ruin the movie for anyone.  (Other than ruining it by telling you it's an absolute piece of crap.)  First off, the Prometheus is on its way to an unknown planet.  It left Earth with a crew of seventeen people, half of which have no freak'n clue as to what their mission is.  The other half, who know why they're going where they're going, don't know a single thing about the alien planet they are about to land on.  And these people are scientists.  Shouldn't they at least observe the planet in orbit before descending into its atmosphere.  I mean, this is an alien world, after all.  It might be... I don't know?  Dangerous?  This was the first dumb thing about the movie.  No studying of the planet before they land on it.  Dumb, dumb, dumb.

Next, (I'm not listing these in any particular order) the team of geniuses happens to come across the perfect spot to land.  No joke, they fly straight to it without knowing anything about the surface of the world.  Big fat plot coincidence.  Sound like lazy writing to anyone?  Then they head into this alien-constructed pyramid.  Again, no probing or researching.  Just straight in to the belly of the beast.  While in said pyramid two dudes happen to get separated from the rest of the group (cannon fodder).  Problem is, they mapped out the damn place with cool flying drones as soon as they stepped foot inside.  How is it that one can get lost when you have access to a freak'n map???

At one point a character comments how they're half a billion miles from Earth--oh so far away.  Um... half a billion miles from Earth should put them roughly next to Jupiter.  They wouldn't have even left our solar system.  Nice one, idiot Hollywood writers.  Why are you so dumb?

Let's see... people are infected by alien crap.  Magically, different things happen to all of them.  Is any of this explained?  Nope.  There's a prologue to the movie.  Is it explained?  Nope.  Is anything explained in this movie?  NOPE!  There are several other gaping holes that I could list, but then I'd be giving away major plot points.  I said I wouldn't so I won't.  Just know that I'm saving the worst offenders for your viewing pleasure.

The biggest problem about Prometheus is that it doesn't fulfill a single promise that it makes.  Not one.  Does Hollywood even care anymore about crafting a coherent story?  I've been reading a few blog sites since seeing the movie, trying to understand all of the questions left unanswered.  The people who loved the movie came up with the dumbest answers ever.  Some included, "You aren't supposed to understand," or "You're not thinking hard enough.  This movie is for smart people so you have to be smart to get what is going on, moron."  or "If you watch it ten times you'll know what's going on.  Just  pay for a lot more tickets to see this terrible movie and you'll be blown away by how brilliant it is."  (Sarcasm added to offer comic relief for the numb-minded).

Well, that was a bit of a ramble.  Bottom line: don't see Prometheus.  It isn't worth your time and money.  Trust me, it's a mess.  And as for me, I don't know that I'll be going to the theater for a Ridley Scott movie ever again.  I mentioned in my post about Gladiator a few weeks back that he was on the decline.  With Prometheus he has hit bedrock.